


Nothing Personal

by Kahvi



Category: Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-18
Updated: 2008-05-18
Packaged: 2017-10-17 00:08:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/170821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kahvi/pseuds/Kahvi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Saboo have to share a room. With, as they say, hilarious consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing Personal

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://coeur-de-noir.livejournal.com/profile)[**coeur_de_noir**](http://coeur-de-noir.livejournal.com/), who asked me very, very nicely to repost it here. So I am!

The tiny pink body - well, to be fair, head - of Tony Harrison shook with barely-suppressed rage as Saboo unceremoniously opened his briefcase, and dumped him onto the hotel-room floor. "This," he whined, shaking every single one of his tentacles, "is an..."

"I'm well aware of what it is, Tony." Tossing the empty briefcase away, Saboo flopped down into the nearest supposedly 'comfy' chair, throwing his long legs onto the footstool in front. "Be that as it may, there's nothing we can do about it now."

Huffing and heaving, Tony managed to right himself, and began the slow and awkward crawl towards... wherever he was going. He put the exhausted Saboo in mind of a bizarrely mutated turtle. Maybe he would have been better off with one as a partner. At least, when it came to the crunch, he could kill and eat the turtle. What possible use was a rudely shaped pink tentacled alien? As if he knew Saboo was thinking about him, Tony turned, and grinned. "You're looking at my arse, aren't you?"

Saboo sighed. "Tony, you don't have an arse. Arses are for keeping balanced when you have legs, which you rather obviously don't, or you wouldn't have to travel in a carry-on, like a hamster. You claim to have a stomach, and I'm sure all the drink that goes in you has to end up someplace, but it's not something I'd be interested in verifying with my own two eyes, even if I hadn't just spent eight hours in mortal peril."

"And whose idea was it to go to the shamen's convention?"

"You'd rather have stayed for Dennis's yearly business report seminar, is that it? Three agonizing days of listening to that pasty-faced bastard droning on about figures. What do we even need a budget for; we're shamen! Naboo just reverses any bills we get and sends them back, anyway."

"All right..." Tony had disappeared from sight, which had Saboo somewhat worried, but he was too tired to do anything about it. "But you could have just told him you were going here, couldn't you? No need to actually go through with it." A series of huffs and grunts was emanating from the far side of the room.

Saboo shrugged, looking around to locate the mini-bar, if there was such a thing in this place. "I though I might pick up." Luckily, he found he was sitting right next to it. Stretching his arm out, he flicked the door open with a finger, reaching inside for the nearest bottle of alcohol, which happened to be whiskey.

"Hah! Speak for yourself." Tony's voice was louder now. Taking a swig from the bottle, Saboo turned towards it... and nearly sprayed the mouthful out again.

"You insolent little ballbag! How DARE you?!" In a flash, Saboo was over by the king-size bed, where Tony had climbed up the comforter, and sprawled himself across both pillows. A single assured slap from Saboo's hand sent him spinning across the room, giggling as he went. Saboo suspected he'd had a few.

With a rubber-ish sort of 'splat', Tony landed over by the radiator, rolled to a standstill, and flung himself upright. "Easy, big guy! No need to be jealous."

"Jealous??" Control. Saboo squeezed his eyes shut. He had to stay in control. Not rise to it. That was what the little pink prick wanted. With effort, he breathed in and out a few times, schooling himself to calm. Then he walked over, lifted Tony by one of his larger tentacles, and held him up in front of his face. "Now why should I be jealous of a dayglow, plastic novelty toy?"

Tony wiggled in his grasp. "Listen, we've got to work together here, yeah? We have to share this room..."

Saboo winced. "Don't remind me." What kind of a place for a convention was Peterborough, anyway? Out in the middle of nowhere, no place to park a flying carpet without rousing suspicion...

"...so we'll have to make the best of it. I know you want my bod, but I'm telling you right now, that's not going to happen."

" _What??_ "

"It's nothing personal; I'm sure you're a great lay and all. Me and Mrs. Harrison, we've got an open relationship, but you're just not my type, OKkkaaaaaaagh!"

In a single motion, Saboo flung the alien into the dresser on the wall opposite, then locked the door. For the remainder of the evening, he sat in the chair, listening to the irate cries of outrage from within, emptying the bar bottle by bottle. Bastard. What sort of a pervert did he think Saboo was?

Licking his lips, he went for the final bottle. He still wasn't quite sure what he'd do when it was done.


End file.
